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Undiagnosed

I am concerned for coworkers, friends.. concerned for family. My state (when I fell ill, which was March) isn’t testing for “the virus” unless the patient is elderly or works in healthcare. They told us to stay home, even if you have symptoms...unless it’s an emergency, but then call first. I will relay my undiagnosed symptoms. Started with a headache. Almost felt like a migraine except the stomach never joined the party. It persisted for days. Constant pain medication administered equivalent to migraine doses.  Then it traveled to the neck for a day. Sleep position and pillow quality questioned. Lots of swearing and stretching, but nothing loosened. No fever. No cough. Not sick. The throat tickled. It was irritating. Almost like there was too much pepper. All the time. No fever. Moderately easy to not cough. Not sick because no fever and no dry cough. Didn’t cough up mucus. Fever hit like a ton of bricks. Coughed if exerting. Coughed if talking for more tha...
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Safety at Home (PSA)

I wish it was just a couple of times when a medical professional looked at me, while with my husband and said, “Everything seems fine, but it’s standard that we ask if you feel safe at home.” At this point, I glance awkwardly at him and answer that yes, everything is ok. But this.. this is what I want to say. Medical professional: everything seems fine, but it’s standard that we ask if you feel safe at home? ((Awkward glance at my husband, standing next to me)) Me: how on earth could you possibly trust anything that comes out of my mouth at this moment? You’re actually going to give me that question, now? In front of my potential perpetrator? Have you ever gotten an answer other than everything is fine? No, no you haven’t. You shouldn’t even risk asking that question when the other party is in the same building. If I answer yes, and your demeanor shifts (or god forbid, the cops shows up) he knows I’ve opened my mouth or at least that’s going to be my perception. Domestic violenc...
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Time to Fly

I watched a TED talk with America Ferrera and it made me want to write a movie so that she could star in it as her glorious self. I’m not a screen writer so my impulse will fall by the wayside, but it made me self reflect. Does my work represent my values. Is it diverse? And if I see it as diverse, does that mean it actually is diverse...or is my view of diversity skewed by my background. For the longest time, I’ve felt so cautious about posting anything. What if some asshole steals it? What if, god forbid, someone loves it and I have to accept a compliment. What if, because it’s tied back to me and my name, it will be judged before any word is read? What personal stigma affects my work the most? My race? My gender? I created a pseudonym so that I could put my words out there and remain anonymous. I intentionally picked a “gender neutral” name. There is no profile picture. I wished to be no one and let my thoughts carry the story. I don’t know if that’s brilliant, depressing, or b...
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